So, yesterday Joshua was laying on the couch pushing out his belly. I asked him what he was doing and his response was "I'm being Daddy". I thought that was the funniest thing ever and was totally teasing John. Then I asked to be Mommy. He then said "I can't push my belly out that far!" How depressing.
I know I've said it before, but it's the only thing on my mind. My boys are driving me crazy. They fight, cry, misbehave, don't listen, and don't nap all day long. (I am so glad that Caroline is so easy for me.) The worst is the fighting. I wish they would just play together in the playroom for more than 5 minutes without them both in tears. They can't even watch a movie for more than 10 minutes without the same result. (and they are watching lots of movies these days) So what do I do - do I become the extreme referee or not punish either of them and let them kill each other?!
7 comments:
Two words friend "Naughty sauce" Okay, some people might say its really mean. But you know what, I dont care. I dealt with this all the time with my kids and I couldn't handle it anymore. I give my kids a warning and if they dont listen, I ask them if they want "Naughty Sauce" They of course say no, then when they start to misbehave I hold up for five fingers, start the countdown, if I get to zero and they haven't listened I put a drop on my finger and swipe there tongue, put them in time out for a minute, then when they can apologize I give them water. I know, its means, but I will tell you this, in six months I have probably done it at the most twice to a certain naughty child and once to an easier one. I have a tiny little bottle I carry in my purse. Let me tell you there is "Love at home." Good luck. Glad Caroline is easy. I would love to find a time to come and drop of my gift and see her.
I love the tummy story. It's always sad after the baby when the belly isn't all tight - and sadly mine still isn't :)
Having 2 boys close together is a blessing and a curse. I have watched my boys for years be best friends and hate each other at the same time. My policy is to let them figure it out 90% of the time. I do separate them when they are punching, kicking, biting, etc but otherwise I think they are best off doing it themselves (something I learned from my mama). My boys have gotten better as they have gotten older. Hang in there!
It's always hard when a new baby comes along because the whole routine gets thrown for a whack and the kids react by acting up. All of a sudden Luke isn't the baby anymore and Joshua has to fight for more of mom's attention. There is nothing wrong with that - it's just the circle of life, but it's a huge headache for mom! When it gets really bad between my kids I try and get them involved in separate activities in separate rooms. Even if it's T.V time - two different rooms. It gives me peace and quiet and usually if they are separated for awhile they end migrating back to each other eventually and playing nicely. Hang in there - it will get better. Don't feel guilty about anything though - just let it go...When you have a new baby there are no rules -it's just survivial mode :) You can always send one or both of them over here to play too!
you are in good company
my girls and their fighting is enough to drive me insane as well- it's gone on for a couple of years!
I finally told them I couldn't get involved anymore and if they wanted to be horrible to each other and drive each other crazy, so be it! I told them they had a long time to live together so they either had to figure out how to get along or destroy each other. Either way, I said I didn't care.
they have gotten better.
and I have a neighbor who utilizes the same tactic as Patience- naughty sauce. She says it works too. Maybe one day I'll give that a try!
I say let them duke it out. Okay maybe not til death, then again do really want to encourage them to fight, maybe not, but then again there is your sanity. I cannot say I have a lot of wisdom here, but when Cody screams or hits anyone, he gets a precious toy taken away. Granted he has an endless supply, but we take away the big ones or the ones he cares about most and place them in a place he can see but cannot reach (like the fridge). That usually does the trick and he is much better behaved. Good luck!
I have thought about this post so much! And, wanted to say something...
I ABSOLUTELY know what you mean. The first four months after baby is ALWAYS survival mode ---- and with other kids, it's generally "survival" because of them, not the baby!
I love what everyone else has said. It's so tough. The kids' worlds are absolutely turned topsy-turvy; they are desperate for mommy time, too; they're trying to re-establish a new normal; and, they know they can TOTALLY take advantage of mom b/c her hands are soooo tied.
My thoughts (if they're worth anything):
* remember that although it seems like FOREVER, this season will be over in a blink. and, as long as your boys know they're loved (which they do), then they won't even remember it! and, likely you won't either.
* try to establish a normalcy -- and that includes discipline. it's tough, but they're testing boundaries to see if they're still there. so, maintain what you've done. brutal.
* when you get a second, one-on-one time goes MILES. don't kill yourself. but, if they can get they're mom-fill, then maybe they won't try to get it later by hitting.
* we have a rule that you can't use your body to hurt other people (covers a lot of ground). but, boys will be boys. if both kids want to wrestle, go for it. but, if it's violence for the sake of violence -we're a no go.
There you go. I CAN NOT say that I was great about doing all of this with a baby.... at all. But, I tried.... And, I don't have back-to-back boys, so that's unknown territory for me!
I am sure you are doing GREAT! You have the cutest kids. I'll be excited to meet The Princess sometime, hopefully soon.
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