Caroline 3 1/2 years old

Caroline is adorable.  She's got a happy face with a cute dimple, and can give the cutest big smiles.  She is my most independent child and insists on doing everything on her own.  (Unless I need her to do something on her own, then she becomes completely helpless).

Caroline is a great nurturer.  She loves taking care of younger cousins and her baby dolls.  She sets up tea parties and makes food for them, puts them to bed, and strollers them around the house.  I think if she had been first born, she would have been an excellent helper and probably a little less temperamental.  She is definitely feminine and very modest.  She won't wear anything above her knee without pants underneath.  And that is her own doing, not mine.  She prefers to always wear a skirt, even under a dress.  She loves her kitties and sleeps with about 10 blankets. Anything pink is her favorite.  She has a great imagination and is always turning things she shouldn't into toys.  She loves to be the one in charge at play time, and because of this gets along great with younger kids.
She is shy around adults.  She won't even talk if someone she isn't comfortable with asks her a question.  But around her peers she is a bossy bully if they aren't following her lead.  If there is a fight in my house 90% of the time Caroline started it - but she has mastered the art of playing the victim.  At a baseball practice I was watching her and her best little friend, Gentry, play together.  A little boy came up to them to play with them and Caroline started yelling at him, telling him he couldn't.  When he didn't leave she slapped him in the face.  He then hit her back and I yelled out to her.  She realized I was there and started balling as though she was completely innocent and this boy had just walked up and hit her.  If I hadn't seen the whole thing I'm sure I would have thought that was the case.  It has now happened enough times for me to know - even if she's the one balling, she probably instigated whatever happened.

Caroline fights me on just about everything in life.  Getting dressed, brushing hair, brushing teeth, eating, getting in the car, getting out of the car.  And shopping - my goodness, I'm so glad I don't have to do much of that.  Most the time it consists of her crying and kicking in the shopping cart.  She just won't be reasonable very often.  My boys weren't like this.  They have always been much more reasonable and obedient.  At bedtime with Caroline, if I don't catch her at the perfect window for her to cooperate, I end up forcefully brushing her teeth and putting her in her room saying I will tuck her in when she calms down.  Then more often than not, she ends up tucking herself in and falling asleep.  It's sad, and it's really hard for me that so much of my interaction with her is negative.  It's just really really hard.  Lately, I've been trying to create positive interactions between us, and I think that at least helps me.  When she wants to, she can be so loving and cuddly and affectionate.  So I'm trying to capture those moments and talk about how we are the only girls, so we are special buddies.

I don't know if she will be more reasonable and obedient as she ages - or if her nature is just disobedient and difficult.  It's hard to predict what she will be like in one or two years.  I am just hoping that I can figure out how to be the best mom to her so that she can feel love and peace from me.